The Umpteenth Amendment

“Everything costs money,” merchants say
As, splaying their palms and shrugging,
They explain why customers have to pay.
And you, victim of a ritual mugging,
Sigh in your turn, “Everything costs money.”
"Everything costs money, buddy,”
Says the taxman, taking his cut
With impudence, exactitude, no qualms;
Says, too, the panhandler on his butt,
Having bought his booze with slimy alms.
“Everything costs money, honey,”
Purrs the costly catlike bunny—
Opines the bishop from his pulpit—
Cries the lawyer, seeking restitution.
We, the People, have—we couldn’t help it—
Added this line to the Constitution.
Everything costs money.
It isn’t even funny.